How words keep us from experiencing the fullness and freedom of the Present

Image from Lucy's album

"In a sense, words are encyclopedias of ignorance because they freeze perceptions at one moment in history and then insist we continue to use these frozen perceptions when we should be doing better."Edward de Bono

It is said that as soon as you teach a child a word for something, it ceases to see the thing.  Instead, it sees an old image of the thing rather than the present image of it.  If and when it does see a present image, it can be a shock or a startling experience instead of being the natural, unmediated experience of the thing.

The implications of this are profound and far-reaching.  As adults, we have accumulated encyclopedias of words, as Edward de Bono so incisively states, whose original references stick with us and which, in turn, prevent us from seeing and experiencing afresh.

This is the reason why it is also said that clichés are expressions or observations that serve best the moment in which they were first created.  Thereafter, they become clunky vestiges of a once novel and original experience which we insist on reusing, hoping in vain to recapture their original power and dynamism.  In the process, our natural creativity doesn’t get the workout it thrives on because we have uncreatively repeated something whose purpose can only best be served once!

In the simplest of terms, our use of words, fetched rapidly and automatically from the repository of our intellect, does not serve our natural ability to be ‘present’.

But before we go any further, let’s examine that word:

present

These days, pretty much everybody has heard or used reference to the word ‘present’ whose use, for our purposes, stems from the practice of meditation.

The practice of meditation calls us to be ‘present’.  So what exactly does it mean?  To be ‘present’?

Well, for one thing, it means not being focused on the past or the future.  Right, so it means being focused on the present. 

And what exactly is the ‘present’ revealing to us? 

Well, when we sit in practice (or if we are used to practicing at all times), the present may reveal any number of things.  Let me give you an example of what I mean.

As I sit typing this, the ‘present’ for me is

·       An awareness of each letter as it appears on my screen

·       An awareness of the movement of my fingers across the keyboard

·       An awareness of the hard and smooth surface of the keyboard under the palms of my hands and the spongy feel of the keys as I press and release them

·       An awareness of the sounds of traffic, the clock ticking, an aircraft, the tapping of keys

·       An awareness of my feet in my boots and the watch on my wrist

·       An awareness of the contact my posterior is making with the couch and my back with the cushion behind it

·       An awareness of the thoughts I am thinking including thoughts about you, an audience of some sort, indistinct but real insofar as I feel I am communicating with you

·       An awareness of the tightness of the hair tie around my hair

·       An awareness of a sigh as it is happening

And so on…

Now, all this is not necessarily sequential.  I am often aware of many things simultaneously.  In fact, the more we practice being ‘present’, the more awarenesses we have simultaneously. 

Notice, being ‘present’ is really being ‘present’, attending to what is happening in real time where the past and future are not featured EXCEPT as awarenesses of our thoughts about the past and future.

This is really important.  There is a difference, a very big and important difference in thinking about the past/future and being aware of our thoughts about the past and future.

Thinking about the past keeps us trapped in a repetitive cycle.  Thinking about the future, if it merely a projection of past experiences and anticipation, is uncreative.

However, being aware that we are having thoughts about the past and/or the future is awareness and awareness keeps us unattached, which means it frees us!

Oh wow!  If you want freedom, this is it!  Stay aware!  Stay present!

It is when you are ‘present’ and ‘aware’ that you see things as they truly are, not as replays of past images or stories but as real time apprehensions of what is.

Think about that for a moment.  As an instance of application, when you see a friend, do you see them as they are right at that moment or is your perception of your friend layered with memories of what you know of him/her?  How do these memories (largely stored and communicated through words) help or hinder your ability to be really ‘present’ with and to your friend?

Now, here’s something to really get your mind around:  When you keep thinking in terms of words, words that have been used and reused billions of times, you cannot have a real-time, fully present, fully creative, fully sensorial, fully integrated experience of what is.  Instead, you have a hugely limited, largely intellectual experience of what was, aided of course by that vast repository in your brain called your memory.

In our so-called modern, western civilization, we have been conditioned into a disproportionate use of our intellect at the expense of allowing our multi sensorial faculties to function. 

Often, when I ask someone how they are ‘feeling’, they might say something like

I feel stupid

I feel okay

I feel like this is too hard

I feel like giving up

I feel powerless

‘Stupid’, ‘okay’, ‘too hard’, ‘giving up’, ‘powerless’ are concepts that are lodged in our memories.  We’ve come across them before either in the context of someone else’s experience or our own.

But what is the full, sensorial, integrated, multi-dimensional experience of how you are feeling right now?

Right now, if you were fully present, you would not be ‘feeling’ any of those things!  It’s impossible to ‘feel’ concepts unless you are relying on memory!  And even then, you’re thinking rather than feeling/sensing them.

If you were truly present, you would discover a freedom, that upon reflection might be mind-blowing, but in the moment, would feel so natural, so you!

And that has a great deal to do with leaving words out of the experience, or put another way, of not allowing words to mediate i.e. make meaning of the experience for you.

Now, imagine being increasingly in this state of freedom.  Imagine spending more and more of your day and your daily activities in this state of freedom.

Right now, it may seem so unrealistic or impractical or even undesirable to you.

What would I gain by being ‘present’ and experiencing ‘freedom’ when I have a job to go to, kids to raise, debts to pay, commitments to keep, obligations to fulfill, goals to achieve, relationships to make or break, dinner to prepare…

What good would being ‘present’ and experiencing ‘freedom’ do?

Let me describe to you what the status quo is for many of us:

·       We believe we must perform to justify our place in this world, in this society, in this family, in this workplace

·       We feel the stress of this pressure expressed in our internal dialogues, in our interactions with others and in our bodies

·       We believe that we are not entirely in charge of our lives and our wellbeing because there are always things that we cannot control

·       We believe not everything is possible because we are not the sole creators of our reality

·       We believe that happiness is a transitory state of being which must necessarily be interspersed with states of sadness, pain and suffering

·       We believe that we must make compromises in life

·       We believe that we are not really disserving of the most wonderful and abundant and joyous life possible

·       We dare not imagine what a wonderful, abundant and joyous life is possible for us

·       We constantly place conditions in our journey, in our relationships, in our desires

·       We frequently criticize ourselves and others

·       We are often unforgiving of ourselves and others

·       We remember the past and use it as our yardstick to map out the future when in our relationships, in our goal setting or in our work

I could go on but I think you get the picture. 

How many, if any, of these are freeing?  Do they inspire you to live the possible life that is so naturally and effortlessly yours?  Or do they keep you in a very small and tight circle of experiences where self-protection rather than self-expression is your constant preoccupation?  Where your experience of something, anything, no matter how new, is never completely new, is never completely fresh, is never completely available to your naturally creative abilities because you are not ‘present’?  Because you are conditioned to seeing, feeling, touching, smelling, tasting through words?  Because you haul into any current experience the oppressive and suppressive burden of your memory and insist on not only describing but having the experience with the rather inadequate tools of words, clichés and other well-worn expressions? 

Don’t get me wrong.  Words are wonderful things when used well, when used freshly, when used lovingly and evocatively as some of our greatest poets and leaders have done:

Benediction

Bless this little heart, this white soul that has won the kiss of
heaven for our earth.
He loves the light of the sun, he loves the sight of his
mother's face.
He has not learned to despise the dust, and to hanker after
gold.
Clasp him to your heart and bless him.
He has come into this land of an hundred cross-roads.
I know not how he chose you from the crowd, came to your door,
and grasped you hand to ask his way.
He will follow you, laughing and talking, and not a doubt in
his heart.
Keep his trust, lead him straight and bless him.
Lay your hand on his head, and pray that though the waves
underneath grow threatening, yet the breath from above may come and
fill his sails and waft him to the heaven of peace.
Forget him not in your hurry, let him come to your heart and
bless him.

Rabindranath Tagore

But they can also be potent memes that control us, if we let them, shaping our experiences in place of the experience of our naturally free and ever renewing state of being. 

So, how shall I sum up?  Perhaps in these few dot points:

·       Be present, be aware, be free, experience and express with all your senses (Note: ‘be’ does not refer to anything you have to ‘do’ but what you are)

·       Choose your words freely and lovingly, inspired by your heart

·       Rely less on clichés and other fast and favorite expressions

·       Find new ways of using old words and expression

·       Create new expressions and replace old ones with them eg ‘How are you?’  ‘How’s it going?’  Might be replaced by ‘It’s so lovely to see you’ or ‘I feel wonderful things happening for you’ (said, not prophetically like a fortune teller would but because you are ‘present’ to feel the wonder of your own and another person’s ‘be-ing’, the life force within both of you, the blessings of the universe on both of you regardless of what memory you or they are currently carrying on the surface)

Lovingly present, Lucy J

Do you need to 'control' anything?

Image from Lucy's album

You know, the original meaning of ‘control’ back in the 14^th Century was ‘check’, ‘verify’ or ‘regulate’ (as related to account keeping).  It was only in the 15^th Century that this word took on the more restrictive meanings of ‘restraint’, ‘prevent’ and even ‘eliminate’.

I like paying attention to words, how they are used, the impact they have and importantly, the inner (mental and emotional) realities that give rise to them and the outer realities (situations and events) that they help create.

Take for instance the words ‘Just do it’.  Three simple, everyday words with which Nike has successfully seared into the consciousness of a few generations the very positive and desirable association with their primary product – shoes!

On the face of it, what on earth has ‘Just do it’ got to do with shoes???  Yet, you’ll agree, I’m sure, that it’s hard to either say or hear those words without also thinking of that blockbuster brand or one or more of its famous poster boys/girls (Michael Jordan springs to my mind).

‘Just do it’ was inspired by the words, “Let’s do it”, which Gary Gilmore stoutly said when asked by the prison chaplain for any last words minutes before his execution in 1977!  Who would’ve thought that those words would spearhead a marketing strategy that still brings in the bucks!

The success that Nike gained through this inspiration was phenomenal.  With its evocative advertisements, ‘Just do it’ took on unprecedented meanings for millions of people whether or not they purchased Nike shoes. 

It fueled a spirit of daring and freedom by throwing down the gauntlet with those three simple words ‘Just do it!’.  And if you did decide to take the challenge seriously, well, all you’d be ‘competing’ with was... a pair of shoes. Too easy? You bet J.

Although Nike was advertising shoes (or so you’d think), it was in fact very deliberately (and cleverly, I might add), creating a new reality – one in which everyday people like you and I could feel the towers of greatness rise within us and smell the delights of success by ‘just doing it’, ‘it’ suggesting whatever it was you wanted to achieve in life!  Clever or what?

Now, it may seem like I’m doing a mini analysis of a marketing strategy but I can assure you that it is incidental to my main point, that being the power of words to create our reality.

Of course we know that the words in themselves have no power.  It is the meaning that is intended and the meaning that is interpreted that has that power. 

Those meanings are often drawn from a deep and long history over which words have been shaped and reshaped by collective and individual meaning making.

A word is a symbol pointing to a story, sometimes so vast and rich in its dramas, characters and unexpected twists and turns. 

A one letter word like ‘I’ or a three letter word like ‘you’, for instance, points to unfinished stories, dripping in possibilities yet also carrying what might appear to be well-defined and irreversible ‘pasts’.

All this to say that words, numerous and readily available as they often are, are important and to be used with care, or as I prefer to say, mindfully.

And this brings me to the word I set out to tackle at the start of this post.  The word ‘control’.

How often have you heard someone say, or said or thought the following yourself?

‘I lost control’

‘I feel I have no control over the situation’

‘I hate not being in control’

‘I need to be in control of…’

‘S/he is such a control freak’

In his book, The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield writes about ‘control dramas’ in reference to the way people relate to one another.  Those who feel the need to ‘control’ others find a myriad of ways to do so both overtly and covertly.

Often when we speak of control, we speak from a basis of power and powerlessness where there is an uneasy tension between the two.  One person/party seems to have more power and can therefore ‘control’ i.e. restrain or curb or prevent the behavior and actions of another person/party.

Consequently, when we speak of wanting to regain control or maintain control or even have control, we are seeking to impose on our immediate sphere of influence, some holds or restrictions by which we can feel safe and protected.

Sometimes, these holds or restrictions are imposed upon other people such as objecting to a person speaking their mind or limiting their use of space to a certain area within a shared dwelling place or criticizing their work. 

Sometimes, these holds or restrictions i.e. forms of control are imposed in an overt manner, written or spoken, or they may be done more covertly through silent withdrawals, refusing to comment or even acceding to another’s demands no matter how unreasonable or undesirable they may be to us.

But trying to ‘control’ yourself, or another person or situation is really an act of restriction and constriction.  Whether you do it overtly or covertly, your motivation is to protect yourself and self—protection is always a restrictive and constrictive action fueled by fear which is in turn driven by the illusion of separation.

Now I have written about the illusion of separation and its effects in previous posts such as this and this. 

What I’d like to invite us all to consider here is an alternative.  In particular, a LOVE based alternative.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that we all feel threatened and powerless (and more often than we are aware of).  Once again, I’ve already explained why we feel this way in previous posts such as this and this.

Some of us like to explain our need for self-protection and consequently our feelings of fear in terms of our evolution as a human species.  Certainly most scientists do.

But, as you may have noticed, alongside this aspect of our evolution which we are told is hardwired into the limbic part of our brain, the prefrontal part of our brain has also evolved. 

This part of our brain, which is the last part of the brain to mature, is responsible (and that itself is a wonderful word – response + able) for handling the more complex aspects of our thinking and behavior. 

In other words, we have the capacity to override some of the more primal instincts that we have acquired. 

More importantly, we have the ability to self-reflect and self-observe.  And this ability to self-reflect and self-observe gives us the powerful ability to change our thinking and consequently, create new realities!

When we self-observe, something we do in meditation, we become self-aware. 

Awareness is a remarkable experience.  It is the experience of our ultimate reality and this is how we experience our interconnectedness, our formless reality, our limitlessness and our creative nature.

Awareness is the experience of what some may call the ‘unified field of consciousness’ in which ‘energy’ (yes, a word, a symbol that we use) flows freely when it is unimpeded by the vibrations of THOUGHT, and more powerfully, by FEELING.

Yes, thought and feeling!

Energy is directed to thoughts and feelings and to their strongest vibrations which result in the physical and external manifestations of those vibrations.

When fear is the strongest vibration that we hold, energy will be drawn to it and will result in its restrictive and constrictive physical/external manifestations, first in our bodies and then in our words and actions. 

You find yourself getting tense, the muscles in your body, in your face constrict.  Your words are uncreative, reflecting the internal dialogues you’ve been rehearsing.  Your actions are self-protective, causing you to either attack or retreat. 

When we seek to control, we place our thought and feeling vibrations of fear in the naturally free-flowing energy field.  We are then destined to experience the less than satisfactory and often painful outcomes of this restriction and constriction of our naturally free flowing energy.

So, what is the LOVING ALTERNATIVE?

Well, first I think we need to ask the question:

Do we need to control?

Is there another way of moving from a state of powerlessness to a state of power, bearing in mind that our NATURAL STATE is one of true power.

Yes, of course there is!

It is the choice of LOVE – the ultimate and insurmountable energy state! 

Well, then, what might be the response of love?

Quite simple.  It is the response that fills you with joy, with peace, with a feeling of freedom and expansiveness, a feeling of deep power and poise J 

Now, exactly what is that response?

Ah huh, I wish I could tell you but that is something that you will have to allow your inner wisdom, your free, unconditioned, natural, clear-water mind to guide you in J

You see, there are many possible responses of love.  Well, of course there are, for love is the infinite field of possibilities!

In one instance, it may be to move yourself physically into a place of joy or openness like your garden or your favorite room.

In another instance, it might be to make a joke. 

In another, write or cook or work on some craft. 

Oh, but wait!  Wouldn’t these be forms of withdrawal and/or denial?

ONLY IF THAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION. 

Withdrawal and denial are ways by which the fearful mind seeks to impose control. 

But if your motivation is to RETURN TO YOUR NATURAL STATE OF PEACE AND JOY AND POWER AND LOVE, now that THOUGHT and that FEELING have completely different vibrations to the feelings of withdrawal and denial!

Consequently, energy gets drawn and reorganized in different ways in your body, in your words and in your actions.

You smile. The muscles in your face and body relax.  You feel light.  You engage in something creative rather than in addictive behaviors.  You have no ill-feelings towards the other person/party.  You don’t set out to fight anyone or anything.  Instead, you become more acutely aware of your oneness, your interbeingness, your natural state of harmony and wellbeing!

Try it and let me know if it doesn’t make a major difference to the way you deal with your feelings of powerlessness!

In my next post, I shall talk about other words that we frequently use and which may either hinder or help our ability to create our desired realities.  If you like, you may wish to reflect on some of them:

Reality

I, You

Love

Can’t/Can

Want/Need

Success

Fail

Lazy

Bored

Earn

Deserve

Justice

Freedom

Happiness

Honesty

In love, Lucy

My Three Priceless Reminders

Image from Lucy's album

Believe it or not, there was a time when I could quite easily and rapidly free fall into the bottomless pit of despair or disappointment or frustration or rage…

During those times, a relentless cycle of thoughts and feelings would keep me helplessly trapped within its paralyzing grip. 

So consumed was I with my thoughts and feelings, I was completely oblivious of the fact that I was trapped and that I was cycling through the same disempowering state interminably.

Oh my, what a state that was! 

And all through it, I would be consumed with the injustices, the unkindness, the insensitivities, the bloody-mindedness, the arrogance, the callousness, the dishonesty, the insincerity, the ill-intent of the other party. 

I would be thinking and rethinking AND JUDGING for the thousandth and tenth time, what had been said, done, projected, alleged, not said, not done, not defended, not justified by the other party. 

I would be raging or despairing with my response at the time and feverishly rehearsing my better, more bold, more ‘I’ll show them!’ future response. 

Dialogues fueled by outrage or self-pity or condemnation or righteousness or fear would play in my mind almost unceasingly, only briefly leaving me alone if and when my attention was forcefully drawn elsewhere.

Needless to say, my responses to these troubling situations and events were never fulfilling and the outcomes that they generated were never satisfying.  On the contrary, they kept the ground fertile for future and almost inevitable conflict. 

Not all of these conflicts were overt and dramatic, out there in the open.  No, most, I would say, were of the stealthy type – understated, expressed often in silence, withdrawal, ignoring, avoidance, sulking, and a kind of saintly accedence. 

As you can imagine, none of these responses resulted in lasting peace. 

True, they did provide temporary relief and given the degree of mental and emotional (and physical – my stomach used to churn, I’d feel nauseous, throw up, be more prone to illness and injuries etc) turmoil I was in, the relief was vital, life-saving almost!

But, worst of all, despite all the mental, emotional and physical effort I would have invested in these situations/events, I never felt good about myself no matter how hard or how eloquently I defended my response while condemning the actions of the other party. 

Most of this prosecution and defense happened in my head, of course, though I would share some of its story with sympathetic friends. 

I kept telling the story over and over again as if repetition would make it -BECOME and FEEL true according to how I had construed it, of course. 

The thing is, it never FELT true although it may have sounded reasoned and convincing intellectually.

It was only when I took the time to observe and study the nature of the mind that I began to realize that in all these conflicts, these undesirable situations, these *injustices*,

·       I was the common link.  In other words, I was always present.  Without me, there was no story, no event, no disturbance, no turmoil

·       My thoughts and feelings, my outrage, disappointment, sense of injustice etc were learned and habitual, resulting from associations that I’d made from a long time ago, perhaps even while in my mother’s womb!

·       I was trying to protect a *me* that didn’t really exist in the way I believed it to be i.e. separate, finite, unchanging, condemned forever to its beliefs, habits of thoughts, words and actions

Whoa!  What a realization that was!  What liberation it offered! 

I knew I was onto a good thing.  I was going to continue to observe and study.  I was after PEACE, JOY and FREEDOM and I was going to find them and I did!

But it’s not over.  It’s an ongoing thing, a never-ending journey.  I am still discovering more and more about the mind, and experiencing greater peace, joy and freedom along the way.

Each time I experience a situation in which the old, disempowering habits of the mind arise yet again, I am better able to bring my mind into the light of truth, into its clear water mind state where its thoughts and behaviors are seen for what they truly are – passing clouds, mud that has been disturbed,

These thoughts, feelings, words, actions are not *ME*.  They arise in the field of consciousness but they are not *ME*.  They arise and, if I let them be, they just fall away. 

I do not attach to them nor avoid them.  I am no longer under their disempowering grip.  I simply see them as passing events and I let them pass. 

When we think and say, “This too shall pass”, often we miss the deeper truth underlying these words. 

It’s not that some mysterious, more powerful force, causes them to pass.  Rather, it’s we, you and I, who can and must choose to let them pass, seeing them as events, no more and no less than any other and which, when there is neither attachment to or avoidance from, will dissipate like clouds.

In other words, we ALWAYS have control over our response. 

Now, so many of us pay lip service to this idea, this assertion.  We will often readily say, ‘Oh yes, we can choose our response’. 

But as long as that response comes from a place of powerlessness, anger, frustration, indignation, retribution etc, in other words, as long as we respond from FEAR, we have not chosen FREELY.  Instead, we have merely responded from habit, from disempowering beliefs and associations also known as conditioning.

It is an unnatural response.

You need to understand that the response from fear is a self-protecting and separating response, reinforcing the ILLUSION of a separate, incomplete and un-whole self.

The response from peace, joy, power, freedom and love, on the other hand, is a natural response.  It is free, open, expansive and aligned with the TRUTH of a unified, complete, unconditioned and whole SELF in which there is no separation and no need for self-protection.

So, all that said, what are my Three, Priceless Reminders that help me quickly illuminate the habituated/conditioned mind and its beliefs, thoughts and behaviors with the pure light of Truth/Love?

My Three Priceless Reminders:

1.   This is an event/situation that my unnatural, conditioned, muddy water mind has construed as a result of long established beliefs and associations

2.   I am by nature Peaceful, Joyous, Powerful and Free

3.   When I respond from my natural state, I remain in the natural flow of Peace, Joy, Power and Freedom

How did I come up with these reminders that, by the way, I can apply to ANY situation? 

Through familiarization.  

And how did I familiarize myself with them?

By observing and studying my mind which I sometimes describe as the practice of meditation J

That’s right.  Not affirmation, not indoctrination, not acceptance of someone else’s realization or familiarization but MY OWN real-time observation. 

Wouldn’t you like to do the same?  I hope so J

Why don’t I do the things that I know are good for me? Part 2

Image from Lucy's album

In Part 1, I talked about

·       Limited goals and their limited benefits

·       The limitless goal of Self-Knowledge and its unlimited benefits

·       Our fundamental ignorance

·       Our ignorance about the fact that we are suffering using the analogy of drowning without knowing that we are drowning but nevertheless suffering the effects of oxygen deprivation (in an email to my mailing list).  You can join my mailing list here)

·       Intangibility, Ignorance and Delusion as our lived experiences and as obstacles to doing what we know is good for us

In Part 2, I would like to explore how we might realistically i.e. in do-able ways make the goal of Self-Knowledge a personal and highly desirable goal for ourselves and how we might go about accomplishing this goal.

I have often said, with equal humor and seriousness, that the people who seek my services as a mentor are those who realize they have suffered enough J

You see, so often it is only when we hit a crisis in life, be it the dreaded C or the loss of a loved one or the breakup of a relationship or the loss of a job or income or the loss of a purpose in life, that we are motivated to take serious action. 

Until then, when we hit the less extreme snags in life – the daily irritations in our relationships, the bouts of illness, physical discomfort or disabilities that we experience, the setbacks and disappointments that we encounter as we determinedly pursue our limited goals, we are impelled to seek limited, short-term ‘solutions’.

More often than not, these are not real solutions but short-term fixes, band aids that deal with the EFFECTS/SYMPTOMS of our problems rather than the CAUSES or should I say the singular CAUSE of our problems. 

Yes, I say CAUSE because all our suffering, all our problems are ultimately the result of the one cause, the mother of all apparent causes – our fundamental ignorance of who we truly are, our lack of SELF-KNOWLEDGE!

It’s only when it finally dawns on us that these short-term fixes do not prevent us from encountering the same sorts of problems again and again, throwing us into yet another turmoil or frustration or disappointment or crisis, that we consider the possibility of seeking a long term solution, a REAL solution.

And in the seeking of that real solution, we come to realize that there has only ever been one problem – the lack of self-knowledge, the ignorance of who we truly are, our ORIGINAL SIN if you like J

All other problems arise from this single, most fundamental cause – our fundamental ignorance of who and what we truly are.

Now, I realize that such a statement demands elaboration and explanation and if I were writing a book rather than a blog post, I would be providing them.  As it is, I am aware that my posts are already too lengthy for our increasingly short attention spans J. 

However, I dare say that what I’ve written so far, in Part 1 as well as several of my other posts, should give you plenty to chew on.  Certainly there are enough threads there to tie into my assertion that all our problems arise from our fundamental ignorance of who and what we truly are.

That said, perhaps it might help if I provided these key threads in dot points:

·       The belief that we are limited beings isolated as individuals in our bags of skin is a flawed belief

·       When, as science also shows us, we recognize the fact that at the most basic, fundamental level of the material world, matter is in fact non-physical, existing instead as waves of energy, then it becomes clear that the perceived boundaries between all objects, including people, are only apparent, not real

·       In other words, the energy fields that permeate and underlie all forms of physical and non-physical forms of existence are in fact of the one continuous energy field that some might describe as the Unified Field of consciousness

·       This makes the notions of duality and separation untenable

·       This reflects the notion of non-duality, of oneness, of the unified whole, of the all-encompassing as a reality and a certainty rather than a mere possibility

·       When we allow ourselves to enter into the experience of non-duality, of oneness, which we can do during meditation (or in some cases through ‘spontaneous’ realization), we will encounter this truth in a personal and irrefutable way

·       As we cultivate a deep, personal experience/knowledge of oneness, of non-duality, of non-separation, we realize that the limited goal of self-protection which is what preoccupies us all of our lives, is a disempowering goal because it does not recognize the simple fact that what I do has an impact on all else, whether (as I say in meditation practice) we see it or not, we know it or not, we feel it directly or not

·       In other words, I am not an individual, separate being but an INTERDEPENDENT being as the Buddhist teachings tell us or as the Buddhist monk and scholar, Thich Nhat Hanh describes it, we are INTERBEINGS

·       I, like all other forms of material existence, am and arise as a result of what is known in Buddhism as DEPENDENT ORIGINATION – I arise and exist as the result of many and various participatory elements such as the air, the cells of my body, the union of my parents, the plants that provide oxygen and food, the people that build the roads, houses and towns that I walk on and live in etc etc

·       When I have a deep and personal awareness of myself as an interdependent being, then my tendency to grasp at this thing called ‘I’, ‘Me’, and protect it over and above all else as a result of its fears and aversions and indulge it in its ceaseless cravings and attachments as a result of its limited view/belief of itself as ‘not enough’ or not ‘not good enough’ slowly begins to dissolve­

·       I begin to see others as very much a part of me, not separated from me and therefore ­­­­­a possible threat to me (can you see the implications of this in your daily relationships with your significant others as well as those people and things – including your various ‘medical conditions’-  that you have been conditioned to see as ‘other’, as ‘not me’, as ‘threats’, as ‘dangerous’, as ‘evil’?)

Now, .as a result of reading Part 1, someone asked me:

If we do not protect ourselves, if we do not make it our business to protect ourselves and those people and things and causes that we care for, how are we expected to survive in this world?

An excellent question! 

Here’s how I responded:

Firstly, how do you feel when you are preoccupied with protecting yourself, your interests, your causes, your possessions? 

(By ‘protecting yourself’, I mean the things that you typically do and acquire in order to safeguard your personal interests, eg your job, your children, your career, your status in your family and community, your possessions, your investments etc.  In other words, all the limited goals and their limited outcomes/benefits that you pursue and achieve)

Do you feel empowered?  Free?  Open?  Joyous?  At peace?  Inclusive?  Non-discriminating?  If so, how long does this last?  Is there a lingering fear that this is not going to be enough?  That sooner or later, more will be expected of you, whether by yourself or others?

If you're not entirely satisfied or comforted or encouraged by your answers, then perhaps it would be useful to ask: 

Well, what is the best alternative?

The best and most desirable alternative, I think you will agree, is to be able to feel empowered, free, open, non-discriminatory, peaceful, joyous, and inclusive.

So, what must we do?

Is it possible to achieve these states without having to protect ourselves?

Well, I think you will see from all that’s been said so far and from your own life experiences, that the limited goal of self-protection and all its fleetingly glamorous and enticing by-products don’t provide lasting and limitless benefits.

If we want lasting benefits, then we really need to keep our eye, our mind and heart on the true, meaningful and limitless goal, the goal of self-knowledge. 

How?

How do you set about accomplishing any goal? 

You give it a lot of thought, right?  You spend as much time immersing yourself in thoughts, ideas, things, people related to it, true?  You imagine all the benefits you will gain by accomplishing this goal and then you take whatever action you can in its direction.

The goal of self-knowledge requires a similar approach with far less effort!  Yes, I know, sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? 

The fact is, the harder you try, the less likely you are to succeed.  And the more preconceived ideas you have about it, the more obstacles you place in the path of your goal.  The key, therefore, is to immerse yourself in the experience. 

So, here’s what you do:

·       You consider whether this is a worthwhile goal 

·       You read or learn and reflect as much as you can about the benefits of such a goal and how these benefits come about

·       You read or learn and reflect as much as you can about why the limited goal of self-protection can never give you the lasting peace and joy and fulfillment that you so desire

·       You practice a little at a time allowing your mind to settle, to return to its natural state of peace, joy, freedom, limitlessness

·       You allow yourself to experience this natural, clear water mind state more and more

·       You engage in daily life more and more from this natural, clear water mind state

·       You experience for yourself the benefits of doing this

·       You make this your default state of engagement in lifeJ

The BEST ALTERNATIVE is to

·       Be fully present – which is your natural state

·       Act out of love, freedom, power, peace, joy and limitless possibility – all qualities of your true nature

If this is not how you are living your life, then the question to ask yourself is:

Do I want to?

And if you do, then you can and I have already pointed you in the direction of how J

If you want it, everything is possible.  Everything is within reach.  Everything is doable. 

If you want it J

What is the value of pure awareness?

Image from Lucy's album

What is the value of pure awareness?  Of seeing without the filters of experience, of history, biography, geography and all the other accumulated forms of ‘knowledge’ or information that is stored in our minds?

Imagine seeing something you have never seen before, something so out of your familiar life experiences. 

In the initial microseconds of ‘seeing’, you see without bias, without the pre-existing schemas in your mind that will almost immediately want to interpret this thing that you are seeing and impose some kind of meaning on it.

Until this kind of meaning is imposed, your conditioned mind will strive to locate the new data of what you see into one or more of its pre-existing schemas. 

But just consider for a moment, what it might be like in those few nanoseconds before your conscious mind is overpowered by the historical data of the unconscious mind. 

In those few seconds, there is pure perception.  Seeing without bias.  Seeing without interpretation.  Seeing with neither history nor projection into the future. 

This is the experience of direct perception.  In fact, this is the experience of seeing as being.  There is no distinction between observer and observed.

What on earth could be the value of this kind of perception, this kind of seeing without bias, this kind of non-duality?

Oh my goodness, if we would only give ourselves the chance, the freedom to experience it for ourselves!  Nothing that I might say could even begin to describe such an experience AND its ramifications.

But let me say it all the same, if only to stir up some desire in you to experience it for yourself.

Let me say first though, that this is something we aim for during our meditation practice. 

When I ask you to focus on your breathing, your natural breathing, it is the first step to seeing without bias. 

You see, what typically happens is that as soon as we bring our attention to our breathing, our conditioning kicks in.  We judge.  We judge our breath!

Think about that for a second. The craziness of it!

This breath of ours that has been breathing us all our lives without hardly any notice or care from us suddenly comes under our scrutiny.  And oh boy, had it better pay attention to what I think of it!

Because you see, it is not an unbiased, non-judging scrutiny.  Oh no!  It is packed solid with judgment. 

My breathing is too shallow.  It is too fast.  It is too slow.  It is only going through one nostril.  My nose is blocked.  My chest is blocked. Oh no, there is something wrong with me. 

And it doesn’t stop there.  Instead, the mind races on in its usual neurotic fashion:

They say that you only have a set number of breaths in your lifetime.  If I continue breathing at this pace, I’ll run out of my quota very quickly.  I’ll die.  I don’t want to die.  I’m not ready to die.  I’ve got my kids to look after.  I still want to do so many things.  I haven’t even begun to really enjoy my life because I’ve been working so hard.  This is not fair.  Why do the good die young and the bad seem to live forever?  Life is not fair. Yes, that’s a given but why should it be that way?  Why don’t I have what I deserve?  Because you’re selfish.  I’m not selfish.  I do my best for everyone.  I always put others first.  Who puts me first?  No one…

At this point, you might perhaps remember to return to your focus to your breath J.  Or you might happen to hear my voice reminding you that it is normal for the mind to wander away from its assigned point of focus and that your job is to return it to its point of focus as soon as you notice it has wandered.

I might likely say that it may be several minutes and after several movies of the past and future that have played on your mind screen before you notice that your mind has wandered.  That’s normal, I say.  Just bring your mind gently, compassionately, with a big smile back to your breath.

How many people actually hear me say this? J. 

Most are still entangled in their personal movies where they take the starring role or in their neurotic thoughts convinced that this is not an opportunity to be missed in trying to resolve some issue that they’ve been grappling with! 

So caught up are they in their harsh, unforgiving judgments of themselves, of others, of life.  So absorbed in their self-defense.  So embroiled in their pitiful regrets and their righteous determinations about what should or should not have happened in the past or what should or should not happen in the future.

Just bring your mind back to your breath, I say.  Do not chastise yourself for not being able to keep your mind unwaveringly on its object of focus.  Just note: Ah mind, you’ve wandered.  Come back to the breath.

But how many people actually hear me say this?

My guidance has long ceased to register in their conscious mind J

Right after meditation practice, when I go around the group and ask how you’ve gone, some will say:

Oh, it was lovely.  I felt really relaxed.

Hmm…but did I ask you to relax and do nothing else?  Were there instructions that I gave that you perhaps did not hear and therefore did not follow? J

Others might say:

Oh, it was hard.  I couldn’t get my mind to stop.  I was very distracted.  I was so restless.

Ah…at which point did I ask you to get your mind to stop?  At which point did I say that you should not be distracted or restless?

The judgment never ceases.  The implied self-rebuke continues.

Who ever talked about distraction?  It’s not a word I use.  I say ‘wandered’.  Why?  It is not a judging word.  Or at least it is less of a judgment and more of an observation. 

The mind was on the breath.  Now it has wandered from the breath to something else.  Let’s just bring it back to the breath.  End of story.  No further investment is required in that event.  No judgment, no rebuke, no regret, no anxiety, no anger.  No disappointment.  No sense of failure.  Just a simple matter of noticing and resetting the focus.  Noticing and resetting.  Noticing and resetting.

[Now here’s the benefit of practicing this.  You can apply it to any event or experience in life, in what you call ‘real’ life J.  Something happens.  You observe.  You make no judgments.  You merely choose a point of focus – something that is life-giving (like the breath) J. 

Perhaps you could focus on being at peace in just this moment.  Never mind the history that led to this point.  Never mind the projections into the future.  Just this moment, let me be at peace.

Or focus on a beautiful thought: I am a channel of love.  Just for this moment, focus on that. 

Or focus literally on your breath.  Just this breath.  In.  Out.  Yes, and another.  In.  Out.  Yes, and another.

In the process, you break the pattern of conditioned thinking, speaking and behavior.  Instead of getting angry, you get peaceful.  Instead of lashing out with harsh words, you become aware of your breathing.  Instead of getting fearful, you see yourself as a channel of love…you get my point]

And I say:  Even if you have to do this 500 times in 5 minutes, that’s 500 times more aware you are.  That is 500 times you’re breaking long entrenched habits of conditioning. That is the practice.  Nothing more. 

But most people cannot accept this.

There must be something more.  There must be something more expected of me.  Simply noticing how distracted I am is not something to be rewarded.  Okay, I’m not being rewarded or excused.  No, that’s not the purpose of meditation.  That can’t be the purpose of meditation.  It has a far greater goal.  It must be to stop my mind from thinking. I am expected to do something better than this.  I expect it of myself…

What is better than this?  Never losing focus from your breath?  How will this help you? 

I am not saying it won’t but how do YOU think it will help you?

Do you know?  If not, why are you pursuing this goal?  HOW did you acquire this goal?  Who suggested it to you? 

There is nothing expected of you.  Nothing at all.  You are offered a method, a technique.  It is offered to you so that you can experience the benefits of it.  This is not a test.  This is not yet another way to demonstrate to yourself what a failure you are, that even watching your breath for 5 minutes is beyond you!

This is a way of helping you notice the NATURE OF YOUR MIND.

Everything that you experience in your practice is a reflection of the nature of your conditioned mind and if you are able to sustain your focus for just long enough, you will observe the nature of your CONDITIONED mind. 

And if you stay fully focused long enough, or sometimes for just one breath, you will experience the nature of your UNCONDITIONED mind!

Your conditioned mind judges, daydreams, fears, attaches, avoids, gets anxious, worries…

The practice gives you a chance to see this happening. 

Until you see it happening, you only know this as an intellectual proposition.  Even when you retrospectively consider a time when you were angry or anxious or judgmental, you can only encounter that as an intellectual experience. 

Unless of course you allow yourself to relive the memory of it.  Then you are IN IT without being aware of being in it. 

That is what happens during your meditation practice.  Your mind wanders and becomes embroiled in one drama/movie of your life or another.  But you have lost awareness of your mind.

However, when you are able to maintain your focus, when you are able to be an observer, you’ll see these thoughts and emotions and images arise in your mind and then, because you have neither attached to them nor avoided them, they will fall away.  Like clouds gathering and dispersing.  Again and again and again.

That’s when you are in your clear water mind state.  Consciousness aware of itself.  Self-awareness. 

You are in that dynamic field of consciousness.  You, as a solid bodied individual with your personal history and geography and biology no longer exist in the way you have been conditioned to see it other than as a concept. 

Instead, you, as the infinite, unseparated, eternal, boundless, unified field of consciousness become visible.  You are aware of yourself as who and what you truly are – infinite, eternal, limitless, free, powerful, peaceful and blissful.

That is the benefit of Self-Awareness.

You realize you are not a flawed, trapped victim, a creature of habit, personality traits and circumstances, an accumulation and reflection of your past, an isolated individual condemned to protect itself, destined to die.

No, oh no!

You are the eternal, infinite, creative, boundless, free, peaceful, joyous unified energy field of love in which all things are.  The entire world is in you.  The kingdom of god is in you!

There is no death of this YOU, THIS SELF.  Neither has there been birth.  You have always been.  Not as a separated entity but as a whole, unified, peaceful, powerful, abundant, joyous, eternally streaming being!  Get a grip on that!

Start imagining what life would be if you lived it from this YOU – the UNCONDITIONED YOU – instead of the conditioned you.  Can you even begin to feel the enormity of this?  The liberation?  The bliss?  The creativity?  The power?  The wholeness?  The deathless?  The timeless? 

Whoa…. J

Now seriously consider what your life would be like lived from this UNCONDITIONED YOU. 

And when you have done that, resolve to ALLOWING yourself to experience this unconditioned you. 

Note, I said ‘ALLOWING’.  Not forcing or expecting or demanding or obsessively pursuing it.  No, you will never realize the reality and truth of that which you can only hold as a concept and therefore think you can pursue or force into awareness. 

Pursue a concept and you will experience a concept NOT the thing which the concept describes or attempts to describe.  A concept is NOT the (means to a ) direct, unmediated experience.  

The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon.

Instead, simple allow the mind to return to its original state, its UNCONDITIONED state. 

How?  Give it a point of focus.  And watch it.  The focus keeps you from identifying with its behavior and its countless objects of focus.  The watching helps you bring it back to its point of focus. 

In the process, you cannot help but become aware of its conditioned nature.

In the process, you cannot help but become aware of its UNconditioned nature.

In both, you experience liberation, pure love, pure peace, pure joy, pure power, pure limitlessness, pure eternity J

Go practice J

Doing same, expecting different

I want to be liberated from my ego but on its terms and conditions…

When we enter into the practice of meditation, we want to experience the many and profound benefits of our practice.  But we won’t be able to do this if we remain bound to our pet likes and dislikes, our typical attachments and aversions, our old habits of mind i.e. our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes.

It’s a simple logic: 

Do things the same way, expect the same results.  Do things differently and you will get different results.

So how do we abandon or at least suspend our likes, our attachments, our preferences, our habits?  And if this is the prerequisite for our meditation practice, are we all doomed to failure because we have held these thoughts and beliefs for most of our lives and believe (J) that they will be hard to break?!

Interestingly, one of the outcomes of meditation practice is to help us become more aware of our habits, our attachments, our aversions, our preferences and our claims about who and how and why we are and who and how and why we are not.

Hang on… 

How the heck do I abandon what I am not aware of???

If the outcome of our practice is to make us aware of our thoughts, beliefs, attachments, aversions etc, how can we be expected to abandon them if we’re not aware of them? 

Huh???

Ok, ok, ok already!  Let’s go back to what I said earlier and what I think you will agree with:

Do the same thing, expect the same outcomes.  Do something different, expect different outcomes.

Now if we agree with this, then we must be prepared to do something different when we sit down to practice. 

If we enter our practice determined that we’ll do only what we are used to doing, then nothing changes.  We might as well not practice.

  

Change is but one delightful, exciting, scrumdelicious thought away!

However, if we enter with a different attitude, then we are certainly going to benefit from our practice.

Now here is where it might get a bit confusing.  You might be thinking:

Well, I’ve come to practice meditation.  It’s something I would not normally do.  Isn’t that a demonstration of a different attitude?

No, not necessarily. 

It’s a demonstration of a different course of action but that in itself does not reflect a different attitude. 

Or, take this as another example:

I might be coming to practice because I want to challenge myself to do something I haven’t done before. 

Do I typically set myself challenges?  If I do, then this is but one more challenge I’ve set myself, nothing more.  And nothing different, really.

Or again, I might be coming because there were some things I liked about my first experience with meditation, or with the particular facilitator. 

Do I usually repeat something hoping/expecting to get the same result?  If I do, then am I not doing the same thing here?  So what has changed? 

  

You’re telling me that I shouldn’t repeat what works???

Now you may think that there’s nothing wrong with repeating something because it has produced favorable outcomes in the past.  After all, isn’t this a sensible thing to do?

Sure it is. 

If we went to our favorite supermarket to buy our favorite brand of coffee because it is reasonably priced, wouldn’t it be silly to stop going there for those reasons??!

Of course it would be.

But here’s something to consider: 

What if they no longer sold your favorite coffee?  Or what if the price went up?  How would you feel about that? 

More than likely, you’d be disappointed.  Out of desperation or with a sense of resignation, you might scan the shelf for an alternative.  But you’d likely do so half-heartedly, not really expecting to find an alternative brand that you think you’d like.

Ah, perhaps we can begin to see the drawbacks in this way of thinkingJ.  And perhaps we can also see the similarities in our thinking/beliefs i.e. the habits of mind that we have outside our practice and that we bring into our practice J

These are just a few examples of how, although it may appear we are doing something different i.e practicing meditation or keeping an open mind when we start our practice, we are inadvertently in fact repeating and reinforcing our old habits of mind.

What then are we to do?

Stop practicing altogether?

Well, that is certainly one option though I hope you choose a different one J.

Perhaps it might be useful to revisit our initial reason/motivation for wanting to practice, the reason that first got us excited about the practice.

In all likelihood, it had nothing to do with meeting a new challenge or wanting to have a particular kind of experience.  On the contrary, it probably had to do with the excitement of having a good experience or the desire to stop having bad experiences eg stress, anxiety, depression, illness etc.

At this stage, while these feelings contain seeds of attachment (wanting something) and aversion (avoiding something), they have not yet sprouted.  Whether these seeds sprout or not will depend on our attitude.

Notice that when we sit down to practice, I invite you to recall and consider what your motivation has been for coming to practice.  Then I invite you to set aside these motivations as they have already served their purpose i.e. they have brought you to the practice.  They have done their job J. 

Now, with a fresh mind and heart, meaning one that is open to fresh possibilities, fresh experiences and fresh outcomes, you are more ready to enter into your practice and more likely to benefit greatly from it J.

Before I finish this post, there are a few other points that I would like to address here.  They are related to questions that have been asked following practice.

The breath – a point of Focus, an Anchor, a Now

The breath is a point of focus.  It is always present, always available and a source of great information.  (More about that last one another time)

For now, let’s look at the more immediate functions of focusing on the breath for our practice.

When we focus on the breath, we are focusing on the present.  The breath is a very ‘present’ phenomenon.  It is happening all the time, it is very ‘now’ J.

If we understand that our job in meditation practice is to focus on the breath, than we will see that, in fact, we are practicing being in the now, being present.

Right, so tell me again, what is the point of being ‘present’?

Well, for one thing, it is a break from our typical habits of mind which are to obsess with the past or the future.  And since for most of us, the future we obsess about is a direct and uncreative product of our past, we are effectively doing and creating more of the past.  Nothing much has changed nor is going to.

Also, when we keep in mind that our job during our practice is to bring the mind’s attention to the breath, to notice when our mind has wandered, and to return it again and again and again to the breath, then we can see that this too is another way of breaking out typical habits of mind.

Typically, the mind flits from one thought to the next becoming embroiled in its dramas which are almost always inaccurate accounts of the past and uncreative projections into the future. 

The mind pretty much does its own thing and we suffer the effects of its uncreative ways mentally, emotionally and physically. 

But when we can redirect our mind again and again and again to our breath every time we notice that it has wandered away to a thought and become mired it its associated dramas, we are once again breaking that habit of the conditioned mind!

What is more, when we can do this without self-judgment, without self-chastisement, without taking ourselves too seriously, and instead do this with a big smile on our faces while gently, humorously and compassionately thinking, Ah mind, you have wandered.  Come back to the breath, we will be breaking several deeply entrenched and disempowering habits of mind!

How freeing and liberating is that! 

It is like being allowed to breathe after being held under water for a painfully long period of time, except that generally, the experience during meditation practice is not as harsh or intense J.  Instead, for most people, most of the time, it is more like a slow opening of a window or door in a very congested roomJ

I say most people and most of the time because there are certainly occasions when some people may have some rather sudden and intense experiences. This is not necessarily better or worse, it is just one type of experience.

So, breaking habits by being present, by noticing when the mind has wandered and by returning it again and again to the breath is a great start to our conscious movement into the infinite ground of our being!

Finally, I’d like to invite you to reflect on the

Habits of Mind that are being reinforced during your practice

Are any of the following true for you regarding your practice? 

·       You get sleepy and/or bored

·       You get physically/mentally/emotionally uncomfortable, strained

·       You fall into dream states

·       You feel anxious, impatient or overwhelmed

·       You feel underwhelmed, a sudden or slow loss of purpose, interest

·       You feel frustrated with yourself eg your ability to watch your breath or sit still

·       You judge yourself unfavorably

·       You chastise yourself

·       You compare your experiences with past experiences and make judgments and form conclusions accordingly

·       You conclude that your current experience/reaction is a recurring one, an old ‘problem’

·       You look for quick answers/immediate solutions and feel disappointed/frustrated/irritated when you don’t get them

·       You think that your practice is a waste of time because it is not getting you the results you want/expect

Do you experience these behaviors/responses in other events/situations in your life? 

What are the similarities/differences between the events/situations?  Between your behavior/response?

Can you see that it is the same kind of thinking/reasoning/habits of thought and belief that govern and limit your experience and thus your behavior/response?

Do take the time to reflect on these questions sincerely, patiently and with an open heart and mind!

Am I really, truly, sincerely, truly, truly ready to change my thinking, beliefs and attitudes?  (But... but...but...do I have to????)

Are you ready to choose a different behavior/response?

You know, all you really need to get the most out of your meditation practice, is

1.   A desire to benefit from your practice without specifying exactly how this must happen and in what shape and form that benefit must be

2.   Permission from yourself to allow this to happen.  In other words staying open and receptive to all possibilities  rather than dictating what and how things must happen (which draws on a very narrow set of possibilities)

You will find the same applies for anything else in lifeJ 

So, what do you say?  Shall we start again? 

That’s right – Again!

Let each practice be a brand new practice, arising out of a brand new attitude (because it is one that you are choosing to have in every new moment, every new breathJ), and consequently, a brand new experience created out of brand new possibilities!

Now seriously, can life get any more exciting than that???!!!! J