My Three Priceless Reminders

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Believe it or not, there was a time when I could quite easily and rapidly free fall into the bottomless pit of despair or disappointment or frustration or rage…

During those times, a relentless cycle of thoughts and feelings would keep me helplessly trapped within its paralyzing grip. 

So consumed was I with my thoughts and feelings, I was completely oblivious of the fact that I was trapped and that I was cycling through the same disempowering state interminably.

Oh my, what a state that was! 

And all through it, I would be consumed with the injustices, the unkindness, the insensitivities, the bloody-mindedness, the arrogance, the callousness, the dishonesty, the insincerity, the ill-intent of the other party. 

I would be thinking and rethinking AND JUDGING for the thousandth and tenth time, what had been said, done, projected, alleged, not said, not done, not defended, not justified by the other party. 

I would be raging or despairing with my response at the time and feverishly rehearsing my better, more bold, more ‘I’ll show them!’ future response. 

Dialogues fueled by outrage or self-pity or condemnation or righteousness or fear would play in my mind almost unceasingly, only briefly leaving me alone if and when my attention was forcefully drawn elsewhere.

Needless to say, my responses to these troubling situations and events were never fulfilling and the outcomes that they generated were never satisfying.  On the contrary, they kept the ground fertile for future and almost inevitable conflict. 

Not all of these conflicts were overt and dramatic, out there in the open.  No, most, I would say, were of the stealthy type – understated, expressed often in silence, withdrawal, ignoring, avoidance, sulking, and a kind of saintly accedence. 

As you can imagine, none of these responses resulted in lasting peace. 

True, they did provide temporary relief and given the degree of mental and emotional (and physical – my stomach used to churn, I’d feel nauseous, throw up, be more prone to illness and injuries etc) turmoil I was in, the relief was vital, life-saving almost!

But, worst of all, despite all the mental, emotional and physical effort I would have invested in these situations/events, I never felt good about myself no matter how hard or how eloquently I defended my response while condemning the actions of the other party. 

Most of this prosecution and defense happened in my head, of course, though I would share some of its story with sympathetic friends. 

I kept telling the story over and over again as if repetition would make it -BECOME and FEEL true according to how I had construed it, of course. 

The thing is, it never FELT true although it may have sounded reasoned and convincing intellectually.

It was only when I took the time to observe and study the nature of the mind that I began to realize that in all these conflicts, these undesirable situations, these *injustices*,

·       I was the common link.  In other words, I was always present.  Without me, there was no story, no event, no disturbance, no turmoil

·       My thoughts and feelings, my outrage, disappointment, sense of injustice etc were learned and habitual, resulting from associations that I’d made from a long time ago, perhaps even while in my mother’s womb!

·       I was trying to protect a *me* that didn’t really exist in the way I believed it to be i.e. separate, finite, unchanging, condemned forever to its beliefs, habits of thoughts, words and actions

Whoa!  What a realization that was!  What liberation it offered! 

I knew I was onto a good thing.  I was going to continue to observe and study.  I was after PEACE, JOY and FREEDOM and I was going to find them and I did!

But it’s not over.  It’s an ongoing thing, a never-ending journey.  I am still discovering more and more about the mind, and experiencing greater peace, joy and freedom along the way.

Each time I experience a situation in which the old, disempowering habits of the mind arise yet again, I am better able to bring my mind into the light of truth, into its clear water mind state where its thoughts and behaviors are seen for what they truly are – passing clouds, mud that has been disturbed,

These thoughts, feelings, words, actions are not *ME*.  They arise in the field of consciousness but they are not *ME*.  They arise and, if I let them be, they just fall away. 

I do not attach to them nor avoid them.  I am no longer under their disempowering grip.  I simply see them as passing events and I let them pass. 

When we think and say, “This too shall pass”, often we miss the deeper truth underlying these words. 

It’s not that some mysterious, more powerful force, causes them to pass.  Rather, it’s we, you and I, who can and must choose to let them pass, seeing them as events, no more and no less than any other and which, when there is neither attachment to or avoidance from, will dissipate like clouds.

In other words, we ALWAYS have control over our response. 

Now, so many of us pay lip service to this idea, this assertion.  We will often readily say, ‘Oh yes, we can choose our response’. 

But as long as that response comes from a place of powerlessness, anger, frustration, indignation, retribution etc, in other words, as long as we respond from FEAR, we have not chosen FREELY.  Instead, we have merely responded from habit, from disempowering beliefs and associations also known as conditioning.

It is an unnatural response.

You need to understand that the response from fear is a self-protecting and separating response, reinforcing the ILLUSION of a separate, incomplete and un-whole self.

The response from peace, joy, power, freedom and love, on the other hand, is a natural response.  It is free, open, expansive and aligned with the TRUTH of a unified, complete, unconditioned and whole SELF in which there is no separation and no need for self-protection.

So, all that said, what are my Three, Priceless Reminders that help me quickly illuminate the habituated/conditioned mind and its beliefs, thoughts and behaviors with the pure light of Truth/Love?

My Three Priceless Reminders:

1.   This is an event/situation that my unnatural, conditioned, muddy water mind has construed as a result of long established beliefs and associations

2.   I am by nature Peaceful, Joyous, Powerful and Free

3.   When I respond from my natural state, I remain in the natural flow of Peace, Joy, Power and Freedom

How did I come up with these reminders that, by the way, I can apply to ANY situation? 

Through familiarization.  

And how did I familiarize myself with them?

By observing and studying my mind which I sometimes describe as the practice of meditation J

That’s right.  Not affirmation, not indoctrination, not acceptance of someone else’s realization or familiarization but MY OWN real-time observation. 

Wouldn’t you like to do the same?  I hope so J

What is the value of pure awareness?

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What is the value of pure awareness?  Of seeing without the filters of experience, of history, biography, geography and all the other accumulated forms of ‘knowledge’ or information that is stored in our minds?

Imagine seeing something you have never seen before, something so out of your familiar life experiences. 

In the initial microseconds of ‘seeing’, you see without bias, without the pre-existing schemas in your mind that will almost immediately want to interpret this thing that you are seeing and impose some kind of meaning on it.

Until this kind of meaning is imposed, your conditioned mind will strive to locate the new data of what you see into one or more of its pre-existing schemas. 

But just consider for a moment, what it might be like in those few nanoseconds before your conscious mind is overpowered by the historical data of the unconscious mind. 

In those few seconds, there is pure perception.  Seeing without bias.  Seeing without interpretation.  Seeing with neither history nor projection into the future. 

This is the experience of direct perception.  In fact, this is the experience of seeing as being.  There is no distinction between observer and observed.

What on earth could be the value of this kind of perception, this kind of seeing without bias, this kind of non-duality?

Oh my goodness, if we would only give ourselves the chance, the freedom to experience it for ourselves!  Nothing that I might say could even begin to describe such an experience AND its ramifications.

But let me say it all the same, if only to stir up some desire in you to experience it for yourself.

Let me say first though, that this is something we aim for during our meditation practice. 

When I ask you to focus on your breathing, your natural breathing, it is the first step to seeing without bias. 

You see, what typically happens is that as soon as we bring our attention to our breathing, our conditioning kicks in.  We judge.  We judge our breath!

Think about that for a second. The craziness of it!

This breath of ours that has been breathing us all our lives without hardly any notice or care from us suddenly comes under our scrutiny.  And oh boy, had it better pay attention to what I think of it!

Because you see, it is not an unbiased, non-judging scrutiny.  Oh no!  It is packed solid with judgment. 

My breathing is too shallow.  It is too fast.  It is too slow.  It is only going through one nostril.  My nose is blocked.  My chest is blocked. Oh no, there is something wrong with me. 

And it doesn’t stop there.  Instead, the mind races on in its usual neurotic fashion:

They say that you only have a set number of breaths in your lifetime.  If I continue breathing at this pace, I’ll run out of my quota very quickly.  I’ll die.  I don’t want to die.  I’m not ready to die.  I’ve got my kids to look after.  I still want to do so many things.  I haven’t even begun to really enjoy my life because I’ve been working so hard.  This is not fair.  Why do the good die young and the bad seem to live forever?  Life is not fair. Yes, that’s a given but why should it be that way?  Why don’t I have what I deserve?  Because you’re selfish.  I’m not selfish.  I do my best for everyone.  I always put others first.  Who puts me first?  No one…

At this point, you might perhaps remember to return to your focus to your breath J.  Or you might happen to hear my voice reminding you that it is normal for the mind to wander away from its assigned point of focus and that your job is to return it to its point of focus as soon as you notice it has wandered.

I might likely say that it may be several minutes and after several movies of the past and future that have played on your mind screen before you notice that your mind has wandered.  That’s normal, I say.  Just bring your mind gently, compassionately, with a big smile back to your breath.

How many people actually hear me say this? J. 

Most are still entangled in their personal movies where they take the starring role or in their neurotic thoughts convinced that this is not an opportunity to be missed in trying to resolve some issue that they’ve been grappling with! 

So caught up are they in their harsh, unforgiving judgments of themselves, of others, of life.  So absorbed in their self-defense.  So embroiled in their pitiful regrets and their righteous determinations about what should or should not have happened in the past or what should or should not happen in the future.

Just bring your mind back to your breath, I say.  Do not chastise yourself for not being able to keep your mind unwaveringly on its object of focus.  Just note: Ah mind, you’ve wandered.  Come back to the breath.

But how many people actually hear me say this?

My guidance has long ceased to register in their conscious mind J

Right after meditation practice, when I go around the group and ask how you’ve gone, some will say:

Oh, it was lovely.  I felt really relaxed.

Hmm…but did I ask you to relax and do nothing else?  Were there instructions that I gave that you perhaps did not hear and therefore did not follow? J

Others might say:

Oh, it was hard.  I couldn’t get my mind to stop.  I was very distracted.  I was so restless.

Ah…at which point did I ask you to get your mind to stop?  At which point did I say that you should not be distracted or restless?

The judgment never ceases.  The implied self-rebuke continues.

Who ever talked about distraction?  It’s not a word I use.  I say ‘wandered’.  Why?  It is not a judging word.  Or at least it is less of a judgment and more of an observation. 

The mind was on the breath.  Now it has wandered from the breath to something else.  Let’s just bring it back to the breath.  End of story.  No further investment is required in that event.  No judgment, no rebuke, no regret, no anxiety, no anger.  No disappointment.  No sense of failure.  Just a simple matter of noticing and resetting the focus.  Noticing and resetting.  Noticing and resetting.

[Now here’s the benefit of practicing this.  You can apply it to any event or experience in life, in what you call ‘real’ life J.  Something happens.  You observe.  You make no judgments.  You merely choose a point of focus – something that is life-giving (like the breath) J. 

Perhaps you could focus on being at peace in just this moment.  Never mind the history that led to this point.  Never mind the projections into the future.  Just this moment, let me be at peace.

Or focus on a beautiful thought: I am a channel of love.  Just for this moment, focus on that. 

Or focus literally on your breath.  Just this breath.  In.  Out.  Yes, and another.  In.  Out.  Yes, and another.

In the process, you break the pattern of conditioned thinking, speaking and behavior.  Instead of getting angry, you get peaceful.  Instead of lashing out with harsh words, you become aware of your breathing.  Instead of getting fearful, you see yourself as a channel of love…you get my point]

And I say:  Even if you have to do this 500 times in 5 minutes, that’s 500 times more aware you are.  That is 500 times you’re breaking long entrenched habits of conditioning. That is the practice.  Nothing more. 

But most people cannot accept this.

There must be something more.  There must be something more expected of me.  Simply noticing how distracted I am is not something to be rewarded.  Okay, I’m not being rewarded or excused.  No, that’s not the purpose of meditation.  That can’t be the purpose of meditation.  It has a far greater goal.  It must be to stop my mind from thinking. I am expected to do something better than this.  I expect it of myself…

What is better than this?  Never losing focus from your breath?  How will this help you? 

I am not saying it won’t but how do YOU think it will help you?

Do you know?  If not, why are you pursuing this goal?  HOW did you acquire this goal?  Who suggested it to you? 

There is nothing expected of you.  Nothing at all.  You are offered a method, a technique.  It is offered to you so that you can experience the benefits of it.  This is not a test.  This is not yet another way to demonstrate to yourself what a failure you are, that even watching your breath for 5 minutes is beyond you!

This is a way of helping you notice the NATURE OF YOUR MIND.

Everything that you experience in your practice is a reflection of the nature of your conditioned mind and if you are able to sustain your focus for just long enough, you will observe the nature of your CONDITIONED mind. 

And if you stay fully focused long enough, or sometimes for just one breath, you will experience the nature of your UNCONDITIONED mind!

Your conditioned mind judges, daydreams, fears, attaches, avoids, gets anxious, worries…

The practice gives you a chance to see this happening. 

Until you see it happening, you only know this as an intellectual proposition.  Even when you retrospectively consider a time when you were angry or anxious or judgmental, you can only encounter that as an intellectual experience. 

Unless of course you allow yourself to relive the memory of it.  Then you are IN IT without being aware of being in it. 

That is what happens during your meditation practice.  Your mind wanders and becomes embroiled in one drama/movie of your life or another.  But you have lost awareness of your mind.

However, when you are able to maintain your focus, when you are able to be an observer, you’ll see these thoughts and emotions and images arise in your mind and then, because you have neither attached to them nor avoided them, they will fall away.  Like clouds gathering and dispersing.  Again and again and again.

That’s when you are in your clear water mind state.  Consciousness aware of itself.  Self-awareness. 

You are in that dynamic field of consciousness.  You, as a solid bodied individual with your personal history and geography and biology no longer exist in the way you have been conditioned to see it other than as a concept. 

Instead, you, as the infinite, unseparated, eternal, boundless, unified field of consciousness become visible.  You are aware of yourself as who and what you truly are – infinite, eternal, limitless, free, powerful, peaceful and blissful.

That is the benefit of Self-Awareness.

You realize you are not a flawed, trapped victim, a creature of habit, personality traits and circumstances, an accumulation and reflection of your past, an isolated individual condemned to protect itself, destined to die.

No, oh no!

You are the eternal, infinite, creative, boundless, free, peaceful, joyous unified energy field of love in which all things are.  The entire world is in you.  The kingdom of god is in you!

There is no death of this YOU, THIS SELF.  Neither has there been birth.  You have always been.  Not as a separated entity but as a whole, unified, peaceful, powerful, abundant, joyous, eternally streaming being!  Get a grip on that!

Start imagining what life would be if you lived it from this YOU – the UNCONDITIONED YOU – instead of the conditioned you.  Can you even begin to feel the enormity of this?  The liberation?  The bliss?  The creativity?  The power?  The wholeness?  The deathless?  The timeless? 

Whoa…. J

Now seriously consider what your life would be like lived from this UNCONDITIONED YOU. 

And when you have done that, resolve to ALLOWING yourself to experience this unconditioned you. 

Note, I said ‘ALLOWING’.  Not forcing or expecting or demanding or obsessively pursuing it.  No, you will never realize the reality and truth of that which you can only hold as a concept and therefore think you can pursue or force into awareness. 

Pursue a concept and you will experience a concept NOT the thing which the concept describes or attempts to describe.  A concept is NOT the (means to a ) direct, unmediated experience.  

The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon.

Instead, simple allow the mind to return to its original state, its UNCONDITIONED state. 

How?  Give it a point of focus.  And watch it.  The focus keeps you from identifying with its behavior and its countless objects of focus.  The watching helps you bring it back to its point of focus. 

In the process, you cannot help but become aware of its conditioned nature.

In the process, you cannot help but become aware of its UNconditioned nature.

In both, you experience liberation, pure love, pure peace, pure joy, pure power, pure limitlessness, pure eternity J

Go practice J

The business of Problem Solving

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Yet another reference to Einstein... J

Einstein is supposed to have said that no problem can be solved at the level at which it was created.  The solution, he said, is always at a higher level.

When we learn how to enter into our Clear Water Mind state, we are able to shift from the state of mind (the muddy mind) where all our ‘problems’ exist and from where they arise to where clarity or ‘solutions’ are found.

Etymologically, ‘solution’ derives from the sense of ‘loosening’ or ‘unfastening’.  Interesting, don’t you think? 

There are two points that I’d like to discuss here.  The first is to do with Problem Solving.  The second is to do with Problem Creation J.

The business of Problem Solving...imagine this scenario: 

You take your car to your mechanic for a service.  When your mechanic calls you later in the day to give you an update, he tells you that there’s something wrong with the clutch and recommends that you have it fixed asap.  And yes, he’ll do it for you right away if you like.

Well, it sounds serious and you certainly aren’t going to be able to repair it yourself so you authorize him to do it.  He does and charges you handsomely for it too.

Now, what if, a few days later, as you happened to recount this event to a friend, he tells you that the mechanic you’d been to is known for ‘messing with cars’ and creating problems that didn’t exist so that he could charge customers for getting them fixed?

You’d be angry, I’m sure.  And you’d probably resolve never to go to that mechanic again.

Pseudo Problem Creator, Pseudo Problem Solver

Here’s the thing:  The mechanic creates the problem and then offers to fix it for you.  And, not knowing any better, you agree.  Crazy or what???

It’s rather like the conditioned/muddy mind.  It creates a problem and then proceeds to fix it for you because you have given it permission to do so.  Or not given it alternative instructions/directions J

Actually, you’ve never even questioned your conditioned mind.  You’ve never asked it questions such as:

·       Why is this a problem?

·       Who or what has created this problem?

·       How have I come to see it as a problem?

·       Do I have to see this as a problem?

·       What is it about you (the conditioned mind) that has created this problem?

·       What if I choose not to see this as a problem?

·       What are some ways of seeing this situation other than as a problem?

Now, you might be thinking that there are occasions when you do subject your mind to this kind of questioning.  Perhaps so.  It is a great starting point. 

But if you remain in your conditioned (muddy) mind state where your problem was created in the first place to seek an answer/solution, then expect to get conditioned/muddy answers/solutions.

If you want to get clear, unconditioned, fresh, inspired answers, then you will need to go a level up – to the unconditioned, Clear Water Mind state.

And when you do, chances are, you will see things very differently.  You may even have different questions to ask J.

And so, moving on to the point about Problem Creation…

The conditioned mind creates problems because it sees differences/dissonance/disagreements that appear to threaten it. 

For example:

Someone has a different opinion or belief than mine.  That’s a problem.  Either they must come to my way of thinking or I must come to theirs.  It’s not possible for us to cohabit harmoniously when we see things differently.  Until this is resolved, I cannot experience peace or joy or love either within myself or with the other person.  OR

There is too much consumerism.  I have to do something about it.  If I don’t, I won’t be able to live with myself.  This is a problem.  I am not ready to change my ways.  This makes life hard for me.  I cannot feel at peace until I resolve this inner conflict within me. OR

So and so says I should eat this kind of food.  But someone else says something quite the opposite.  I’m never sure what to follow.  Whatever I do, I have a nagging feeling that I might not be getting this right.  This is a problem.  I’m never going to be at peace until I resolve this. OR

Someone is suffering terribly from illness.  I don’t know what to do.  I want to help but I can’t.  I feel terrible about this.  I don’t want to feel this way and I don’t want them to suffer either.  What should I do?  This is a problem.  I won’t be at peace until I resolve this.

The conditioned mind can and will (given the chance) turn anything and everything into a problem.  This is how it maintains its relevance, it's purpose.  (Pseudo) Problem creation and (Pseudo) Problem solving is its raison d'être! (You may note the parallels in societyJ) 

Shakespeare said:

‘Nothing is either good or bad, except thinking that makes it so’

I know, I know.  It goes against every fibre of our…..

Conditioning!

Yes, our conditioning. 

Not against our innate truth and wisdom.  Not against our natural, free, divine, infinite mind.  But against our conditioning.

So, the question is:  Do we want to live our lives in defense of our conditioning?  

I know I don’t J. 

Do you?