What is the value of pure awareness?

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What is the value of pure awareness?  Of seeing without the filters of experience, of history, biography, geography and all the other accumulated forms of ‘knowledge’ or information that is stored in our minds?

Imagine seeing something you have never seen before, something so out of your familiar life experiences. 

In the initial microseconds of ‘seeing’, you see without bias, without the pre-existing schemas in your mind that will almost immediately want to interpret this thing that you are seeing and impose some kind of meaning on it.

Until this kind of meaning is imposed, your conditioned mind will strive to locate the new data of what you see into one or more of its pre-existing schemas. 

But just consider for a moment, what it might be like in those few nanoseconds before your conscious mind is overpowered by the historical data of the unconscious mind. 

In those few seconds, there is pure perception.  Seeing without bias.  Seeing without interpretation.  Seeing with neither history nor projection into the future. 

This is the experience of direct perception.  In fact, this is the experience of seeing as being.  There is no distinction between observer and observed.

What on earth could be the value of this kind of perception, this kind of seeing without bias, this kind of non-duality?

Oh my goodness, if we would only give ourselves the chance, the freedom to experience it for ourselves!  Nothing that I might say could even begin to describe such an experience AND its ramifications.

But let me say it all the same, if only to stir up some desire in you to experience it for yourself.

Let me say first though, that this is something we aim for during our meditation practice. 

When I ask you to focus on your breathing, your natural breathing, it is the first step to seeing without bias. 

You see, what typically happens is that as soon as we bring our attention to our breathing, our conditioning kicks in.  We judge.  We judge our breath!

Think about that for a second. The craziness of it!

This breath of ours that has been breathing us all our lives without hardly any notice or care from us suddenly comes under our scrutiny.  And oh boy, had it better pay attention to what I think of it!

Because you see, it is not an unbiased, non-judging scrutiny.  Oh no!  It is packed solid with judgment. 

My breathing is too shallow.  It is too fast.  It is too slow.  It is only going through one nostril.  My nose is blocked.  My chest is blocked. Oh no, there is something wrong with me. 

And it doesn’t stop there.  Instead, the mind races on in its usual neurotic fashion:

They say that you only have a set number of breaths in your lifetime.  If I continue breathing at this pace, I’ll run out of my quota very quickly.  I’ll die.  I don’t want to die.  I’m not ready to die.  I’ve got my kids to look after.  I still want to do so many things.  I haven’t even begun to really enjoy my life because I’ve been working so hard.  This is not fair.  Why do the good die young and the bad seem to live forever?  Life is not fair. Yes, that’s a given but why should it be that way?  Why don’t I have what I deserve?  Because you’re selfish.  I’m not selfish.  I do my best for everyone.  I always put others first.  Who puts me first?  No one…

At this point, you might perhaps remember to return to your focus to your breath J.  Or you might happen to hear my voice reminding you that it is normal for the mind to wander away from its assigned point of focus and that your job is to return it to its point of focus as soon as you notice it has wandered.

I might likely say that it may be several minutes and after several movies of the past and future that have played on your mind screen before you notice that your mind has wandered.  That’s normal, I say.  Just bring your mind gently, compassionately, with a big smile back to your breath.

How many people actually hear me say this? J. 

Most are still entangled in their personal movies where they take the starring role or in their neurotic thoughts convinced that this is not an opportunity to be missed in trying to resolve some issue that they’ve been grappling with! 

So caught up are they in their harsh, unforgiving judgments of themselves, of others, of life.  So absorbed in their self-defense.  So embroiled in their pitiful regrets and their righteous determinations about what should or should not have happened in the past or what should or should not happen in the future.

Just bring your mind back to your breath, I say.  Do not chastise yourself for not being able to keep your mind unwaveringly on its object of focus.  Just note: Ah mind, you’ve wandered.  Come back to the breath.

But how many people actually hear me say this?

My guidance has long ceased to register in their conscious mind J

Right after meditation practice, when I go around the group and ask how you’ve gone, some will say:

Oh, it was lovely.  I felt really relaxed.

Hmm…but did I ask you to relax and do nothing else?  Were there instructions that I gave that you perhaps did not hear and therefore did not follow? J

Others might say:

Oh, it was hard.  I couldn’t get my mind to stop.  I was very distracted.  I was so restless.

Ah…at which point did I ask you to get your mind to stop?  At which point did I say that you should not be distracted or restless?

The judgment never ceases.  The implied self-rebuke continues.

Who ever talked about distraction?  It’s not a word I use.  I say ‘wandered’.  Why?  It is not a judging word.  Or at least it is less of a judgment and more of an observation. 

The mind was on the breath.  Now it has wandered from the breath to something else.  Let’s just bring it back to the breath.  End of story.  No further investment is required in that event.  No judgment, no rebuke, no regret, no anxiety, no anger.  No disappointment.  No sense of failure.  Just a simple matter of noticing and resetting the focus.  Noticing and resetting.  Noticing and resetting.

[Now here’s the benefit of practicing this.  You can apply it to any event or experience in life, in what you call ‘real’ life J.  Something happens.  You observe.  You make no judgments.  You merely choose a point of focus – something that is life-giving (like the breath) J. 

Perhaps you could focus on being at peace in just this moment.  Never mind the history that led to this point.  Never mind the projections into the future.  Just this moment, let me be at peace.

Or focus on a beautiful thought: I am a channel of love.  Just for this moment, focus on that. 

Or focus literally on your breath.  Just this breath.  In.  Out.  Yes, and another.  In.  Out.  Yes, and another.

In the process, you break the pattern of conditioned thinking, speaking and behavior.  Instead of getting angry, you get peaceful.  Instead of lashing out with harsh words, you become aware of your breathing.  Instead of getting fearful, you see yourself as a channel of love…you get my point]

And I say:  Even if you have to do this 500 times in 5 minutes, that’s 500 times more aware you are.  That is 500 times you’re breaking long entrenched habits of conditioning. That is the practice.  Nothing more. 

But most people cannot accept this.

There must be something more.  There must be something more expected of me.  Simply noticing how distracted I am is not something to be rewarded.  Okay, I’m not being rewarded or excused.  No, that’s not the purpose of meditation.  That can’t be the purpose of meditation.  It has a far greater goal.  It must be to stop my mind from thinking. I am expected to do something better than this.  I expect it of myself…

What is better than this?  Never losing focus from your breath?  How will this help you? 

I am not saying it won’t but how do YOU think it will help you?

Do you know?  If not, why are you pursuing this goal?  HOW did you acquire this goal?  Who suggested it to you? 

There is nothing expected of you.  Nothing at all.  You are offered a method, a technique.  It is offered to you so that you can experience the benefits of it.  This is not a test.  This is not yet another way to demonstrate to yourself what a failure you are, that even watching your breath for 5 minutes is beyond you!

This is a way of helping you notice the NATURE OF YOUR MIND.

Everything that you experience in your practice is a reflection of the nature of your conditioned mind and if you are able to sustain your focus for just long enough, you will observe the nature of your CONDITIONED mind. 

And if you stay fully focused long enough, or sometimes for just one breath, you will experience the nature of your UNCONDITIONED mind!

Your conditioned mind judges, daydreams, fears, attaches, avoids, gets anxious, worries…

The practice gives you a chance to see this happening. 

Until you see it happening, you only know this as an intellectual proposition.  Even when you retrospectively consider a time when you were angry or anxious or judgmental, you can only encounter that as an intellectual experience. 

Unless of course you allow yourself to relive the memory of it.  Then you are IN IT without being aware of being in it. 

That is what happens during your meditation practice.  Your mind wanders and becomes embroiled in one drama/movie of your life or another.  But you have lost awareness of your mind.

However, when you are able to maintain your focus, when you are able to be an observer, you’ll see these thoughts and emotions and images arise in your mind and then, because you have neither attached to them nor avoided them, they will fall away.  Like clouds gathering and dispersing.  Again and again and again.

That’s when you are in your clear water mind state.  Consciousness aware of itself.  Self-awareness. 

You are in that dynamic field of consciousness.  You, as a solid bodied individual with your personal history and geography and biology no longer exist in the way you have been conditioned to see it other than as a concept. 

Instead, you, as the infinite, unseparated, eternal, boundless, unified field of consciousness become visible.  You are aware of yourself as who and what you truly are – infinite, eternal, limitless, free, powerful, peaceful and blissful.

That is the benefit of Self-Awareness.

You realize you are not a flawed, trapped victim, a creature of habit, personality traits and circumstances, an accumulation and reflection of your past, an isolated individual condemned to protect itself, destined to die.

No, oh no!

You are the eternal, infinite, creative, boundless, free, peaceful, joyous unified energy field of love in which all things are.  The entire world is in you.  The kingdom of god is in you!

There is no death of this YOU, THIS SELF.  Neither has there been birth.  You have always been.  Not as a separated entity but as a whole, unified, peaceful, powerful, abundant, joyous, eternally streaming being!  Get a grip on that!

Start imagining what life would be if you lived it from this YOU – the UNCONDITIONED YOU – instead of the conditioned you.  Can you even begin to feel the enormity of this?  The liberation?  The bliss?  The creativity?  The power?  The wholeness?  The deathless?  The timeless? 

Whoa…. J

Now seriously consider what your life would be like lived from this UNCONDITIONED YOU. 

And when you have done that, resolve to ALLOWING yourself to experience this unconditioned you. 

Note, I said ‘ALLOWING’.  Not forcing or expecting or demanding or obsessively pursuing it.  No, you will never realize the reality and truth of that which you can only hold as a concept and therefore think you can pursue or force into awareness. 

Pursue a concept and you will experience a concept NOT the thing which the concept describes or attempts to describe.  A concept is NOT the (means to a ) direct, unmediated experience.  

The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon.

Instead, simple allow the mind to return to its original state, its UNCONDITIONED state. 

How?  Give it a point of focus.  And watch it.  The focus keeps you from identifying with its behavior and its countless objects of focus.  The watching helps you bring it back to its point of focus. 

In the process, you cannot help but become aware of its conditioned nature.

In the process, you cannot help but become aware of its UNconditioned nature.

In both, you experience liberation, pure love, pure peace, pure joy, pure power, pure limitlessness, pure eternity J

Go practice J