My Three Priceless Reminders

Image from Lucy's album

Believe it or not, there was a time when I could quite easily and rapidly free fall into the bottomless pit of despair or disappointment or frustration or rage…

During those times, a relentless cycle of thoughts and feelings would keep me helplessly trapped within its paralyzing grip. 

So consumed was I with my thoughts and feelings, I was completely oblivious of the fact that I was trapped and that I was cycling through the same disempowering state interminably.

Oh my, what a state that was! 

And all through it, I would be consumed with the injustices, the unkindness, the insensitivities, the bloody-mindedness, the arrogance, the callousness, the dishonesty, the insincerity, the ill-intent of the other party. 

I would be thinking and rethinking AND JUDGING for the thousandth and tenth time, what had been said, done, projected, alleged, not said, not done, not defended, not justified by the other party. 

I would be raging or despairing with my response at the time and feverishly rehearsing my better, more bold, more ‘I’ll show them!’ future response. 

Dialogues fueled by outrage or self-pity or condemnation or righteousness or fear would play in my mind almost unceasingly, only briefly leaving me alone if and when my attention was forcefully drawn elsewhere.

Needless to say, my responses to these troubling situations and events were never fulfilling and the outcomes that they generated were never satisfying.  On the contrary, they kept the ground fertile for future and almost inevitable conflict. 

Not all of these conflicts were overt and dramatic, out there in the open.  No, most, I would say, were of the stealthy type – understated, expressed often in silence, withdrawal, ignoring, avoidance, sulking, and a kind of saintly accedence. 

As you can imagine, none of these responses resulted in lasting peace. 

True, they did provide temporary relief and given the degree of mental and emotional (and physical – my stomach used to churn, I’d feel nauseous, throw up, be more prone to illness and injuries etc) turmoil I was in, the relief was vital, life-saving almost!

But, worst of all, despite all the mental, emotional and physical effort I would have invested in these situations/events, I never felt good about myself no matter how hard or how eloquently I defended my response while condemning the actions of the other party. 

Most of this prosecution and defense happened in my head, of course, though I would share some of its story with sympathetic friends. 

I kept telling the story over and over again as if repetition would make it -BECOME and FEEL true according to how I had construed it, of course. 

The thing is, it never FELT true although it may have sounded reasoned and convincing intellectually.

It was only when I took the time to observe and study the nature of the mind that I began to realize that in all these conflicts, these undesirable situations, these *injustices*,

·       I was the common link.  In other words, I was always present.  Without me, there was no story, no event, no disturbance, no turmoil

·       My thoughts and feelings, my outrage, disappointment, sense of injustice etc were learned and habitual, resulting from associations that I’d made from a long time ago, perhaps even while in my mother’s womb!

·       I was trying to protect a *me* that didn’t really exist in the way I believed it to be i.e. separate, finite, unchanging, condemned forever to its beliefs, habits of thoughts, words and actions

Whoa!  What a realization that was!  What liberation it offered! 

I knew I was onto a good thing.  I was going to continue to observe and study.  I was after PEACE, JOY and FREEDOM and I was going to find them and I did!

But it’s not over.  It’s an ongoing thing, a never-ending journey.  I am still discovering more and more about the mind, and experiencing greater peace, joy and freedom along the way.

Each time I experience a situation in which the old, disempowering habits of the mind arise yet again, I am better able to bring my mind into the light of truth, into its clear water mind state where its thoughts and behaviors are seen for what they truly are – passing clouds, mud that has been disturbed,

These thoughts, feelings, words, actions are not *ME*.  They arise in the field of consciousness but they are not *ME*.  They arise and, if I let them be, they just fall away. 

I do not attach to them nor avoid them.  I am no longer under their disempowering grip.  I simply see them as passing events and I let them pass. 

When we think and say, “This too shall pass”, often we miss the deeper truth underlying these words. 

It’s not that some mysterious, more powerful force, causes them to pass.  Rather, it’s we, you and I, who can and must choose to let them pass, seeing them as events, no more and no less than any other and which, when there is neither attachment to or avoidance from, will dissipate like clouds.

In other words, we ALWAYS have control over our response. 

Now, so many of us pay lip service to this idea, this assertion.  We will often readily say, ‘Oh yes, we can choose our response’. 

But as long as that response comes from a place of powerlessness, anger, frustration, indignation, retribution etc, in other words, as long as we respond from FEAR, we have not chosen FREELY.  Instead, we have merely responded from habit, from disempowering beliefs and associations also known as conditioning.

It is an unnatural response.

You need to understand that the response from fear is a self-protecting and separating response, reinforcing the ILLUSION of a separate, incomplete and un-whole self.

The response from peace, joy, power, freedom and love, on the other hand, is a natural response.  It is free, open, expansive and aligned with the TRUTH of a unified, complete, unconditioned and whole SELF in which there is no separation and no need for self-protection.

So, all that said, what are my Three, Priceless Reminders that help me quickly illuminate the habituated/conditioned mind and its beliefs, thoughts and behaviors with the pure light of Truth/Love?

My Three Priceless Reminders:

1.   This is an event/situation that my unnatural, conditioned, muddy water mind has construed as a result of long established beliefs and associations

2.   I am by nature Peaceful, Joyous, Powerful and Free

3.   When I respond from my natural state, I remain in the natural flow of Peace, Joy, Power and Freedom

How did I come up with these reminders that, by the way, I can apply to ANY situation? 

Through familiarization.  

And how did I familiarize myself with them?

By observing and studying my mind which I sometimes describe as the practice of meditation J

That’s right.  Not affirmation, not indoctrination, not acceptance of someone else’s realization or familiarization but MY OWN real-time observation. 

Wouldn’t you like to do the same?  I hope so J

Why don’t I do the things that I know are good for me? Part 2

Image from Lucy's album

In Part 1, I talked about

·       Limited goals and their limited benefits

·       The limitless goal of Self-Knowledge and its unlimited benefits

·       Our fundamental ignorance

·       Our ignorance about the fact that we are suffering using the analogy of drowning without knowing that we are drowning but nevertheless suffering the effects of oxygen deprivation (in an email to my mailing list).  You can join my mailing list here)

·       Intangibility, Ignorance and Delusion as our lived experiences and as obstacles to doing what we know is good for us

In Part 2, I would like to explore how we might realistically i.e. in do-able ways make the goal of Self-Knowledge a personal and highly desirable goal for ourselves and how we might go about accomplishing this goal.

I have often said, with equal humor and seriousness, that the people who seek my services as a mentor are those who realize they have suffered enough J

You see, so often it is only when we hit a crisis in life, be it the dreaded C or the loss of a loved one or the breakup of a relationship or the loss of a job or income or the loss of a purpose in life, that we are motivated to take serious action. 

Until then, when we hit the less extreme snags in life – the daily irritations in our relationships, the bouts of illness, physical discomfort or disabilities that we experience, the setbacks and disappointments that we encounter as we determinedly pursue our limited goals, we are impelled to seek limited, short-term ‘solutions’.

More often than not, these are not real solutions but short-term fixes, band aids that deal with the EFFECTS/SYMPTOMS of our problems rather than the CAUSES or should I say the singular CAUSE of our problems. 

Yes, I say CAUSE because all our suffering, all our problems are ultimately the result of the one cause, the mother of all apparent causes – our fundamental ignorance of who we truly are, our lack of SELF-KNOWLEDGE!

It’s only when it finally dawns on us that these short-term fixes do not prevent us from encountering the same sorts of problems again and again, throwing us into yet another turmoil or frustration or disappointment or crisis, that we consider the possibility of seeking a long term solution, a REAL solution.

And in the seeking of that real solution, we come to realize that there has only ever been one problem – the lack of self-knowledge, the ignorance of who we truly are, our ORIGINAL SIN if you like J

All other problems arise from this single, most fundamental cause – our fundamental ignorance of who and what we truly are.

Now, I realize that such a statement demands elaboration and explanation and if I were writing a book rather than a blog post, I would be providing them.  As it is, I am aware that my posts are already too lengthy for our increasingly short attention spans J. 

However, I dare say that what I’ve written so far, in Part 1 as well as several of my other posts, should give you plenty to chew on.  Certainly there are enough threads there to tie into my assertion that all our problems arise from our fundamental ignorance of who and what we truly are.

That said, perhaps it might help if I provided these key threads in dot points:

·       The belief that we are limited beings isolated as individuals in our bags of skin is a flawed belief

·       When, as science also shows us, we recognize the fact that at the most basic, fundamental level of the material world, matter is in fact non-physical, existing instead as waves of energy, then it becomes clear that the perceived boundaries between all objects, including people, are only apparent, not real

·       In other words, the energy fields that permeate and underlie all forms of physical and non-physical forms of existence are in fact of the one continuous energy field that some might describe as the Unified Field of consciousness

·       This makes the notions of duality and separation untenable

·       This reflects the notion of non-duality, of oneness, of the unified whole, of the all-encompassing as a reality and a certainty rather than a mere possibility

·       When we allow ourselves to enter into the experience of non-duality, of oneness, which we can do during meditation (or in some cases through ‘spontaneous’ realization), we will encounter this truth in a personal and irrefutable way

·       As we cultivate a deep, personal experience/knowledge of oneness, of non-duality, of non-separation, we realize that the limited goal of self-protection which is what preoccupies us all of our lives, is a disempowering goal because it does not recognize the simple fact that what I do has an impact on all else, whether (as I say in meditation practice) we see it or not, we know it or not, we feel it directly or not

·       In other words, I am not an individual, separate being but an INTERDEPENDENT being as the Buddhist teachings tell us or as the Buddhist monk and scholar, Thich Nhat Hanh describes it, we are INTERBEINGS

·       I, like all other forms of material existence, am and arise as a result of what is known in Buddhism as DEPENDENT ORIGINATION – I arise and exist as the result of many and various participatory elements such as the air, the cells of my body, the union of my parents, the plants that provide oxygen and food, the people that build the roads, houses and towns that I walk on and live in etc etc

·       When I have a deep and personal awareness of myself as an interdependent being, then my tendency to grasp at this thing called ‘I’, ‘Me’, and protect it over and above all else as a result of its fears and aversions and indulge it in its ceaseless cravings and attachments as a result of its limited view/belief of itself as ‘not enough’ or not ‘not good enough’ slowly begins to dissolve­

·       I begin to see others as very much a part of me, not separated from me and therefore ­­­­­a possible threat to me (can you see the implications of this in your daily relationships with your significant others as well as those people and things – including your various ‘medical conditions’-  that you have been conditioned to see as ‘other’, as ‘not me’, as ‘threats’, as ‘dangerous’, as ‘evil’?)

Now, .as a result of reading Part 1, someone asked me:

If we do not protect ourselves, if we do not make it our business to protect ourselves and those people and things and causes that we care for, how are we expected to survive in this world?

An excellent question! 

Here’s how I responded:

Firstly, how do you feel when you are preoccupied with protecting yourself, your interests, your causes, your possessions? 

(By ‘protecting yourself’, I mean the things that you typically do and acquire in order to safeguard your personal interests, eg your job, your children, your career, your status in your family and community, your possessions, your investments etc.  In other words, all the limited goals and their limited outcomes/benefits that you pursue and achieve)

Do you feel empowered?  Free?  Open?  Joyous?  At peace?  Inclusive?  Non-discriminating?  If so, how long does this last?  Is there a lingering fear that this is not going to be enough?  That sooner or later, more will be expected of you, whether by yourself or others?

If you're not entirely satisfied or comforted or encouraged by your answers, then perhaps it would be useful to ask: 

Well, what is the best alternative?

The best and most desirable alternative, I think you will agree, is to be able to feel empowered, free, open, non-discriminatory, peaceful, joyous, and inclusive.

So, what must we do?

Is it possible to achieve these states without having to protect ourselves?

Well, I think you will see from all that’s been said so far and from your own life experiences, that the limited goal of self-protection and all its fleetingly glamorous and enticing by-products don’t provide lasting and limitless benefits.

If we want lasting benefits, then we really need to keep our eye, our mind and heart on the true, meaningful and limitless goal, the goal of self-knowledge. 

How?

How do you set about accomplishing any goal? 

You give it a lot of thought, right?  You spend as much time immersing yourself in thoughts, ideas, things, people related to it, true?  You imagine all the benefits you will gain by accomplishing this goal and then you take whatever action you can in its direction.

The goal of self-knowledge requires a similar approach with far less effort!  Yes, I know, sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? 

The fact is, the harder you try, the less likely you are to succeed.  And the more preconceived ideas you have about it, the more obstacles you place in the path of your goal.  The key, therefore, is to immerse yourself in the experience. 

So, here’s what you do:

·       You consider whether this is a worthwhile goal 

·       You read or learn and reflect as much as you can about the benefits of such a goal and how these benefits come about

·       You read or learn and reflect as much as you can about why the limited goal of self-protection can never give you the lasting peace and joy and fulfillment that you so desire

·       You practice a little at a time allowing your mind to settle, to return to its natural state of peace, joy, freedom, limitlessness

·       You allow yourself to experience this natural, clear water mind state more and more

·       You engage in daily life more and more from this natural, clear water mind state

·       You experience for yourself the benefits of doing this

·       You make this your default state of engagement in lifeJ

The BEST ALTERNATIVE is to

·       Be fully present – which is your natural state

·       Act out of love, freedom, power, peace, joy and limitless possibility – all qualities of your true nature

If this is not how you are living your life, then the question to ask yourself is:

Do I want to?

And if you do, then you can and I have already pointed you in the direction of how J

If you want it, everything is possible.  Everything is within reach.  Everything is doable. 

If you want it J