Are you ready to Joy On?

Image from Lucy's album

There are so many moments that provide us with the opportunity to release joy from within us.  In fact, every moment presents us with this opportunity.

When we are caught up in our past dramas, anxieties about our future and reactions to current events, we are not present to the opportunities of joy.  How can we be?!

MISSING OPPORTUNITIES

Consequently, we miss countless opportunities to experience joy.  We live instead with chronic joylessness, caught in a cycle of suffering and relief from suffering.

Relief from suffering is not joy though it is certainly better than suffering!

But, we want more than relief, surely!  We want to live joyfully, every moment of our lives. 

Now some people might feel a little put off by this.  

BORED WITH TOO MUCH HAPPINESS

I recall a dinner party where I happened to be sitting next to a magistrate and his wife.  She was quite keen to learn about meditation and was asking me some questions.

One of the things I said to her was:

“Everybody wants to be happy.  Everyone is seeking happiness.”

At this point, her husband joined in the conversation:

“Oh”, he protested, “I wouldn’t want to be happy all the time.  I need to get stuck in a good problem and find a solution.  I need that kind of challenge, otherwise I’d get desperately bored”.

“Hmmm…” I smiled…”And how do you feel when you’re absorbed in a problem?”

“Eh…uh…well…if you put it that way…”

INTERESTING AND ABSURD

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that we can get scared of being constantly happy or having ‘too much’ happiness?  Interesting and absurd, really J

However, in my many discussions with people about this, I’ve come to realize one thing: 

'RA RA HAPPINESS'

It’s not that people don’t want to be happy all the time.  They do.  But they don’t necessarily want to be what I might best describe as ‘Ra Ra Happy’ – certainly not all the time.

You know, that ear to ear smiling, toothpaste ad teeth showing, uncontrollably bouncing, positive affirmations spouting, life is unbelievably good, happiness is a choice, image of happy.

And that’s where we can get a bit confused because we hold a certain model or image of happiness and it’s not particularly believable or desirable for that matter.

You certainly wouldn’t want to be Ra Ra Happy in the presence of someone who’s just lost a loved one or been fired or had a nasty accident.

But does that necessarily mean that you want to be miserable? 

Well, some of us may believe that we’re obliged to feel miserable, that that is how we show empathy.  I don’t.

On the contrary, I believe that the best I can offer a person at any given time is my most powerful, peaceful, joyous and loving nature. 

Now here’s what’s important to understand:

HAPPINESS HAS MANY EXPRESSIONS

That powerful, peaceful, joyous and loving nature has many expressions, many faces. 

Sometimes, it may well take the form or Ra Ra Happy J. Other times, however, it may take the form of silence and deep listening.  Yet other times, it will express itself in the form of sharing, relating a personal experience or encouraging a certain course of action or cooking a meal for someone or taking a walk with them or giving a massage or singing a song or reading to the person or removing oneself from the person’s physical space or….

I think you get the point:

There are countless expressions of happiness (or joy, if you prefer).

We don’t need countless names or words for each of these expressions, though.  But just because we don’t have a glossary of words or a compendium of labels, doesn’t mean we should dismiss or deny the fact that happiness could well underpin all of these different expressions, that is, IF we should allow it!

Now, before I finish this post, there is one other matter I would like to address:

FEAR OF TOO MUCH HAPPINESS

This is rather a common fear and one which is mostly unrecognized.  It stems from beliefs, probably established in our childhood, that we are not meant to be happy all the time. 

It is ‘unrealistic’ to expect to be happy all the time.  After all, don’t we see that death, sickness, old age and so many other forms of suffering are part and parcel of life?  How then can we expect to be happy all the time?

Besides, thinking or even wanting to be happy all the time is ill preparation for life’s trials and tribulations!  No, no, no, none of that airy fairy stuff! A healthy dose of pessimism/insurance would serve us well!

If anything, this is a safeguard against attracting suffering reassuring the god/s that determine our fate that we are not overconfident or arrogant or disbelieving in his/their power over us!

Furthermore, suffering makes us strong! It helps us grow and learn the lessons we need to learn in life, for life!

My first response to this kind of thinking/belief is usually to quote Henry Ford:

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

In other words, we create our experiences according to our beliefs.

SUFFERING IS NOT MANDATORY

Now, I want to be clear about something:

Most of us do get stronger and wiser when we’ve undergone some form of hardship.  I can think of many instances in my life where I have gained insight and wisdom from my experiences of pain, hardship, setbacks, loss and other forms of suffering. 

That I have gained such strength and wisdom through suffering is true.  But does it mean that suffering is mandatory?  No.  I don’t believe so. 

On the contrary, I believe that we can choose to move from joy to joy, bliss to more bliss. 

For example, we can choose to see death as painful and undesirable.  But we can also choose to see it as yet another experience, no more and no less.  We don’t have to but we can.

If we choose to see death as painful and undesirable, we will experience the pain of our belief and attitude. 

On the other hand, if we choose to see it as an experience in the overall adventure of life, then we will experience the quiet joy and fearless acceptance of this belief and attitude.

You might have heard the adage:

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

I used to think that this was such useful advice.  I don’t anymore.

YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU GIVE ATTENTION TO

If I hope, then I leave things to chance i.e. something or someone else's choice rather than to my freedom to choose what I desire.  

Meanwhile, if I prepare for the worst, then I’m expecting and attracting the worst!  No thank you!

Intend the best, expect the best and don’t interfere with HOW and in WHAT shape and form that best will turn out!  In other words, be open to infinite possibilities J

That’s the approach I prefer to take!

So, are you ready, truly ready to

JOY ON??? J